People or Places - Each a Paradox #acnotes
Not a Relationship Advice - A Mere Observation based on Rehna Tu, Delhi 6
This is a slight digression from my other posts, as this one will delve a bit deeper into the song and what it possibly represents. This is purely my reflection of the song based on repeat listens. And to quote from Baz Luhrman’s spoken word song ‘Wear Sunscreen’ based on a hypothetical commencement speech by columnist
Mary Schmich
"Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now…"**
To begin with, you could first listen to this song - Rehna Tu from Delhi 6. One of my most preferred versions is from MTV Unplugged. A perfect appetizer to listen to before we move any further. Also, I am one of the many avid followers of ARR’s voice and the songs he has sung. Perhaps, I will share a post and a playlist that’s sung by ARR one day (It’s titled ‘ARRsorted’). If interested, I will keep you posted for sure. Maybe, you could subscribe if you haven’t yet, to get notified.
Now, you could listen to the one featured in the album (scroll below). It’s one of the few songs that impeccably speaks about the nature of relationships. Relationship with whom? Well, you might know it already if you’ve watched the movie or already like this song. Or, you might also guess it, after you’ve listened to this song. It’s hard to miss, if you’ve attentively read the post till now. This version also features Benny Dayal and Tanvi Shah, along with ARR.
For my benefit and the one who will read this in a few years from now as well as those who don’t know Hindi - I’ve tried to translate the lyrics. Apologies to the Lyricist Prasoon Joshi, if it’s not completely in line with his thoughts. I’ve tried to state the obvious, perhaps.
Here goes nothing:
Rehna tu, hai jaisa tu
Be the way you are - however, you are.
Thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukoon
A bit of pain and a bit of relief, you are.
Rehna tu, Hai jaisa tu
Be the way you are - however, you are.
Dheema Dheema jhonka, Ya phir Junoon
A desire as tender as a zephyr and a passion as a ravishing storm.
Thoda sa resham, tu hamdam, Thoda sa khurdura
You’re partly silken smooth and submissive,
And you’re partly sand-like coarse/ abrasive, a rebel.
Kabhi tu ad jaaye, Ya lad jaaye
You’re hard to please/be moved or stuck at times,
and you rebuke/throw a fit at times.
Ya khushboo se bhara
At times, you’re pleasant with a welcoming scent.
Tujhe badalna na chahoon
To change you, is never my intention.
Ratti bhar bhi sanam
Nope, I’m not even making
an iota of an effort (to change you), my love.
Bina sajawat, milawat
Not a bit of adornment,
Not an ounce of alteration.
Na zyaada na hi kam
Nothing more, nothing less.
Tuhje chaahon, jaisa hai tu
I love you the way you are,
Mujhe teri baarish mein bheegna hai ghul jaana hai
I wish to be awash in your rain and I wish to dissolve, while I’m in it.
Tujhe chaahoon, jaisa hai tu
I’ll love you the way you are.
Mujhe tere lapat mein jalna rakh ho jana hai
I wish to bask in your light and burn into ashes, eventually.
Tu zakhm de agar
You hurt me and while at it.
Marham bhi aakar tu lagaaye
You heal me with a balm soon after.
Zakhm pe bhi mujhko pyaar aaye
Love hurts, but as it scabs
I’ll eventually love the scar this hurt leaves behind.
Dariya oooo dariya
Doobne de mujhe dariya
Doobne de mujhe Dariya
You’re a river stream
and in its depths I wish to immerse myself completely.
Haath thaam chalna ho
To dono ke daayen haath sang kaise
Ek daaya hoga, ek baayan hoga
Tham le, haath yeh thaam le
Chalna hai sang thaam le
To walk, holding hands, together
It’s impossible by clasping, each other’s same right (or left) hands.
It takes one’s left hand in another’s right hand -
hand in hand, we can walk, holding each other’s hands.
<end of translation>
The text book definition of a paradox is: ‘a person or thing that combines contradictory features or qualities’. So, when you listen to the song once again, you could approach it in a few ways- One) the obvious, the relationship between two people. Two) being the relationship a person shares with a place (in fact, this is how it was intended in the movie - Delhi 6 I guess and many have written about it already). Then there could be some other approach which could be quite exclusive to your own interpretation. For instance, one blogger even refers to this song as a relationship with life. Presently, I’ll stick to the first two I’ve mentioned-above, that’s of a relationship with a person and then with a place.
Listen closely, and you might grasp both these dimensions. How one sees the contrasts or contradictions in the same entity, all at once in a person. Listen again, and this plays out as a song that describes the transition of a resident at a house to someone embracing that abode and turning it into their solace — a home. There are black and white shades, and then there are some grey. And in the long run one comes to terms with the latter shade. When it’s all about playing the long game, it’s not about finding the perfect person or a place to live a happily ever after. It’s about growing to love the the person you’ve decided to live with or the place you are at. Eventually, making the choices that complement the chances you’ve decided to take.
In the words of Maroon 5 and a line my wife often quotes:
“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along”
She will be loved, Songs About Jane
Especially, these lines from the above-mentioned song:
Haath thaam chalna ho
To dono ke daayen haath sang kaise
Ek daaya hoga, ek baayan hoga
Tham le, haath yeh thaam le
Chalna hai sang thaam le
To walk, holding hands, beside each other…
It’s impossible by clasping the same right (or left) hands.
It takes one’s left hand in another’s right hand -
hand-in-hand, we can walk, together.
A few lines that speaks volumes. To begin with, it clearly talks about differences. Furthermore, it’s breaks the stereotype that opposites attract. And how opposites or contradictions in each person or place could complement the other, if there’s a mindset for acceptance. Could it be a like a velcro tape? Hooks and loops, both distinct in character and functionality yet that’s what keep them together. **Truth be told, there’s nothing called “made for each other”. Perhaps, it worked well as a tag line for a cigarette brand, which referred to its filter made perfectly for the cigarette. However, when it comes to relationships, you grow into each other. It’s not a redy-made jig into saw. It’s not a puzzle. It’s a poem. It’s built on the go. Verses that complement each other with no forced rhyme.
Now, some reading and additional viewing/listening to strengthen my case:
Why you will marry the wrong person By Alain de Botton
Trust me when I say that all the three resources shared above are totally worth your time. While my learning continues, I’m reminded of these lines from Milan and Kay Yerkovich’s book - How We Love:
Now to close the loop, the above shared song in this post is definitely an exception. The song begins with ARR’s voice. A steady rhythm flows with two more voices intertwining. A soothing bass line and guitar riffs that lets you recline and put your feet up. Then ARR’s voice is the current or tide that takes the listener cruising ahead.
A visual metaphor that just flashed before my eyes while I write this is the White Secretary Bird from the movie FLOW.
While there’s a lot happening with the instrumentation, ARR slips in on and off with his soothing vocals to hand hold and navigate. Then you hear the Continuum Fingerboard, played as though in deep contemplation. At approx. the 5 min mark the song almost ends and it’s the solo played here after for around 2 minutes of the song. By now, you’re all settled down. You hear the phrases from the chorus being sprinkled and the song fades out. This lets you pause, contemplate, maybe at times, replay this song. Not rush into another song. Well, this is how I have felt many a times. But again, I know many who even skipped to the next track when this solo plays. To each their own. Perceptions differ and preferences change. That said, this is one of the realizations I’ve had while listening to this song. Especially, towards the end:
Companionship isn’t a commodity. It’s not like some thing one can customize and consume. It’s about coexisting. And to achieve that it’s about navigating accepting the differences through this paradox called life. And to coexist, to compromise is the way ahead. To live, let live.
Thank you for your time and patience. If you have a song, poem or a book to recommend in line with what you read, feel free to post it in the comments. Also, if there’s any observation or insight you have read or experienced when it comes to relationships and believe it could be of help to someone do kindly share that as well.
Good read 💯
Made me feel hopeful